5 THINGS I WOULD TELL MY YOUNGER SELF
I recently did a video for Finish Line for International Women's day and one of the questions stuck out to me the most: What would you tell a younger version of yourself or younger girls? I'm about to drop some knowledge on you all because I feel like I've been through enough to shed some insightful advice to my readers.
1. don't care what others think about you
I grew up being the new girl in schools up till middle school, and that was the worst experience a teenager has to go through. I had to find friends quickly in order to feel accepted, but I never knew how fucked up people could be till that point! This was the beginning of my insecurities. I was constantly made fun of by my "friends" about how skinny I was and even had rumors spread about me that I had a eating disorder. It's not COOL. I was fine throughout high school & I learned to accept my body and brush off the skinny jokes. By senior year, I built a foundation & confidence again being around my Halau sisters (I used to dance Polynesian) and a small group of friends.
Freshman year college, I was cyber bullied by a group of girls that literally never even spoken to me before. I was lost and confused as to why a group of girls were using so much energy on ME. At this very point, I GREW. I matured instantly as a 18 year old because I never did anything back. Sometimes the best response is NO response.
I'm here to tell you, people are fucking CRUEL and will say some shit behind your back. Don't worry, it'll pass. It was hard for me to not bite back, but I felt at peace with myself. They want a reaction out of you, that's why they do it. I didn't let them. I was angry inside, but I felt classy not saying anything and just focusing on myself. You're not the only one! Moral of the story is: be careful who you were mean to in high school!
And if you are that person who bullies, STOP IT. It's not cool.
I chose to not live under the opinions of others, because I'd be living for them not for ME.
2. It's okay to not know what career to dive in
It's normal to change passions as you grow up. You may love to work on several things and dive to each one to see which one fits you. Just know, it's perfectly normal to jump from one job to another! You don't have to stay in the same job forever. Every chapter in your book should be a journey. It's normal if you're bored with your job, just remember that you don't have to stay in that job forever.
I was constantly surrounded by peers who were thriving and knew what they wanted to do with their lives. Don't feel alone if you don't know what the fuck you want to do for the rest of your life! We all grow and add different interests as time goes on. It's a wonderful feeling being a beginner of a new interest and learning all over again.
Just be smart about your decisions and money. Do what you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life.
3. There was a "you" before him and there will be a "you" after him.
We've all the been there before. A break up that was salty and traumatic. I feel like I gained a lot of my readers because of my relationship woes lol. It's because I realized they're either a blessing or a lesson & I had a shit ton of lessons to learn where I'm like, I can't let another girl beat herself up like I did.
You've heard that there are plenty of fish in the sea, and it's absolutely fucking true. There were times where you happy without that partner in your life and you will smile again! The most important thing to do is to focus on yourself. This comes with a fair warning: Fuccbois love to come back when they see you doing well. Don't fall for it. IT'S A TRAP. If you really believe they came back a changed person, you have to keep your guard up and watch their actions more than listening to their word.
4. Focus on your overall health
I drank at least one coke can a day growing up. My mom forbid it, but I would buy it at school. I was a skinny girl but I was very unhealthy! I would huff and puff going up a flight of stairs. I one day decided to drop soda and drink water. I found myself with more energy and clearer skin! Speaking of clear skin, I WISH I LISTENED TO MY MOTHER ABOUT SUNSCREEN. I now have sun spots :( Take care of your skin, eat right and get plenty of exercise! I'm learning as you get older, you won't have the same metabolism. Be conscious of your food intake but it's okay to indulge in the sweet stuff once in a while :)
5. you will outgrow your friends
Shit happens, people change. I only talk to a handful of people from my high school. It's normal! Friends may drift due to having various interests or even just having busy lives. I think you'll start to notice when you hit your first year of college. That's when I first realized I loved being alone. You're going to have friends come and go, you just have to hold on tight to the ones who are REAL. Cut off any negative energy or people who aren't lifting you up to be a better person. I realized a lot of my "party friends" weren't my real friends. You have to surround yourself with people you look up to in a sense & vice versa.
I let go of several of my friends because I fell in love.. with Modern Fit. I realized my time was precious and any minute on partying was a minute loss from getting closer to my dreams. As they say, if you're doing something right, you won't have much friends! I've learned an incredible amount throughout this journey, and I've learned to keep the real ones close to me and the unnecessary out.
We all have some growing to do every day, and I hope this serves some sort of insight on how to do so! Have a productive week <3
location: the little big house
PHOTOGRAPHY: GERMAN VIZCARRA